


Pain

by YvY91



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Amputation, Blood and Injury, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Siblings, Established Relationship, Fever, Gavin Reed Being Less of an Asshole, Gavin Reed Needs a Hug, Hurt Upgraded Connor | RK900, I'll see myself out now..., M/M, Nines can feel Pain, On Hiatus, Phantom pain, RK900 Needs a Hug, Self-Harm, Someone safe Nines, Temporary loss of limbs, Whump, Worried Gavin Reed, he suffers a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:46:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22354315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YvY91/pseuds/YvY91
Summary: Nines once asked Gavin what it was like to feel pain, now the android wished he had never found it out himself.
Relationships: Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed, Tina Chen & Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 15
Kudos: 100





	Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again, I hope you guys like this one. I'm always happy to read what you think. <3

Gavin Reed was nervous. 

No. Not nervous. That would be the wrong definition for the feelings that wrought havoc inside his mind. 

It was fear. 

Fear of losing his android, his partner, his lover. 

Fear of losing the one person that kept him grounded since that stubborn android had slowly but steadily managed to tear down every wall Gavin had so painstakingly built up until nothing was left.

Nines had been the one to pick up the pieces after Gavin had raged and screaming against the Android for hours. Gavin wanted to know why the android cared so much, why he didn't just walk away like everyone else did, his partner didn't even blink through Gavin's outburst. 

After that, Gavin was emotionally at his end, he sunk into himself with exhaustion, and Nines practically had to pick him up off the floor and dragged him to the bedroom, where they just held each other. 

They had both been lying on Gavin's bed in silence for hours, at one point Gavin had the courage to look into the android's blue eyes again, and Gavin will never forget how much emotions Nines could show with just his eyes, while the rest of his face stayed blank. 

That night Nines told him that after all the months of working together he had seen what Gavin really was like, that he would never leave Gavin as long as the man wanted him to stay. That he would take anything the detective would throw at him, because Gavin was worth it; because Nines loved him. 

  
The words triggered a flood of tears, but Gavin felt better than ever. 

A few weeks later, Nines had moved into Gavin's apartment. Much to Connor's and Andersons' irritation and protests. After Nines had assured them many times that they should stop worrying so much and that Gavin would never harm him in any way, Nines had stepped his foot down.

What a spectacle that had been.

Gavin remembered like it was yesterday. The way Nines had berated Connor and Anderson to stay out of his life when they couldn't accept that Gavin and Nines loved each other. The detective as well as the rest of the precinct had been listening to what was going on, it had left Gavin red in the face. Everything settled down after that day. 

That was months ago. 

And now? 

Now he just wanted to know if Nines was fine, just some information that would help keep Gavin's heart from beating out of his damn chest.

The man growled under his breath as he dragged his fingers through the strands of hair for the hundredth time in just a few minutes. 

He was a wreck. 

Gavin knew it, and everyone who had a chance to see him at that moment could see it too.

So, it was a small mercy for him that he was the only one inside the waiting area as he kept on pacing along in the small room,. 

So it was a little mercy for him that he was the only one in the waiting area as he kept pacing up and down in the small room, covered from elbows down to his knees in vibrant indigo-blue.  
  
Thirium 

Android blood 

His partner's...lover's life essence. 

In some places where the blood had not completely soaked his clothing, it had already started to evaporate, though, Gavin was sure it was still there.

Sticking to his clothes and skin. 

Again, he scratched along the backside of his right hand unaware of the little beads of red that were starting to form on his irritated skin.

His mind was deeply absorbed in the memories of the incident hours ago, so much so that he didn't see the person entering the waiting area until one hand covered his own.

Small, slender fingers gently enclosed his own. He gazed down at the hand on his with a frown before looking up, coming face to face with the worried face of his best friend. 

Gavin swallowed heavily, he had completely forgotten to call Tina. 

"Tina," Gavin choked out her name with a wavering voice, not a second later, Tina's arms wrapped tightly around him and he was pulled against her. 

Tina was smaller than he was, nonetheless it didn't stop Gavin from pressing his face against the warm skin of his friend's neck. 

He was trying not to cry. It was a losing battle because only a few seconds later his eyes burned as tears ran out and his face went aflame with embarrassment.

  
Crying in public wasn't on his fun-list at all. 

  
Tina's small hand kept rubbing over his shaking shoulders while her other one wandered up until fingertips caressed over his hair until they slowly started to draw soothing circles on the back of his head. 

"It's okay, Gav. Try to breathe slowly. Everything will be fine," the constant low murmur of Tina's voice was enough to calm him at least somewhat, and he shuddered a few more times before pulling away from her. 

  
A quick look around the small waiting room revealed that they still were the only ones, he let out a small breath of relief, he hated losing control over himself like that. There were only a handful of people in his life who really got to see Gavin's true emotions beside anger and mistrust. 

But damn, he was grateful for Tina's support, he was sure that if she hadn't turned up a few minutes ago, his anxiety would have turned into a raging fit. 

Tina nudged him in the side and gestured towards the few chairs which stood side by side along a cream colored wall. At first he wanted to decline, but after a short consideration he followed her to sit down. 

The gray-eyed man groaned in relief when his legs finally got some rest, his mind and body were exhausted. He wondered how he was only now realizing now, how utterly exhausted he was. 

  
A quick glance at the clock let him know that he was stuck here for almost two hours.

Figures. 

  
Two hours without information regarding Nines. 

It was maddening. 

From the side of his vision he saw Tina's hand reaching for his again, but instead settled on his forearm, were she kept a steady reassuring pressure, "What happened Gavin? I just heard about an incident that involved you and Nines and that he had been damaged. I couldn't reach you. I had to ask Fowler were you two are." her grip on his forearm tightened minutely, a reminder for him to call her the next time something happened. 

Gavin let himself fall back in the plastic chair, his head thumped slightly at the wall. He squeezed his eyes shot for a few moments in an attempt to collect his raging thoughts. 

He moved his free hand over his face a few times before he looked at his friend. She was worried, very much so, he could see it in the fine lines around her eyes and mouth. Tina tried to hold herself together, for Gavins' sake and he was grateful for it. 

"Shit, Ti. Nines and I only wanted to check out one of the old abandoned factories where we thought our suspect might be hiding. We found someone there. An android that tried to hide himself, " he let out a humorless laugh. 

"After we entered the building Nines told me to stay back and that the android there was not our suspect, but apparently a very damaged AP700 that hid himself there long before the revolution.

"After we entered the building, Nines told me to stay behind and that the android was not our suspect, but apparently a very damaged AP700 that had been hiding there long before the revolution. Nines tried to approach him and suddenly the AP700 went ballistic. He started screaming that he wouldn't go back to his owner, and then he tackled Nines into one of the old machines." 

Gavin's throat felt constricted, he swallowed heavily to get rid of this feeling, "Well, I mean for Nines it wasn't really a tackle, but he stumbled into the machine and suddenly the whole thing started to collapse into itself. Nines pushed the AP700 towards me but was unable to get away himself." Hot tears began to gather in Gavin's eyes again as he recalled every detail. 

"A part of the machine fell on Nines. His left arm and chest were stuck underneath it. Tina...He- He screamed. Nines screamed...I never heard anything like that before. Nines is unable to feel pain, he told me so once, but he was in so much pain, Tina. I don't know..I-...I just stood there for a few seconds."

"I mean, the AP700 android was scared shitless. He was just as shocked as I was, and I couldn't do anything other than try to keep Nines calm. The other android managed to lift the machine enough for me to drag Nines out from under it, and then he ran away." 

The detective breathed heavily. Grey, red-rimmed eyes fixed to the wall on the opposite of them. Gavin wanted to storm to his partner, he wanted to tell him how sorry he was that he let this happen, that he was too slow...always too slow to protect the people who were important to him. 

"Listen to me, it's not your fault, Gavin. It was an accident and Nines will be fine, I'm sure. I mean...he is our precinct's Terminator, he even tamed you..." a small smile pulled at Gavin's lips as she tried to humor him, just to disappear as quickly as it appeared. 

"I'll see if I can get some coffee somewhere and maybe something to eat. Do you want something too?"

He nodded wordlessly and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he watched her leave. 

It was becoming too much. 

The wait and the uncertainty as to whether Nines was still alive or not.

A storm was brewing right beneath his skin and he felt as if he was holding onto a small, fragile thread that was ready to snap at any time now. 

  
Gavin closed his eyes 

Behind them, he saw himself kneeling on the ground, cradling Nines in his arms while the android wept in pain. Thirium was bleeding all over the dirty concrete floor. He remembered how he frantically pushed his fingers inside Nines' arm to find the broken thirium-line that kept pushing blue blood out of the wound with every beat of the android's pump, like an arterial bleed. 

How Gavin's own voice was panicked as he called for help, how he almost started to cry, while unsuccessfully trying to calm his android with gentle touches and whispered words.

The time until the ambulance with the technicians arrived had dragged into eternity. 

  
The blood-curdling screams at the beginning slowly turned to heartbreaking whimpering sounds on the way to the android hospital, even now they rang loudly in his mind. On their way, the technicians were unable to force Nines into stasis, and neither was there any way to relieve him from the pain. So it was even more gruesome to see how the technicians kept pushing their fingers against and into the bleeding wounds on Nines' chassis and arm. 

  
At some point during their drive Nines' called Gavin's name, asking him for help and to stop the pain.

But Gavin couldn't, he could only watch as the android, he had given his heart to, suffered. Nines' blue, pain-filled eyes watched Gavin while the android's face contorted in confusion, pain and something that almost brought Gavin's heart to a halt when he realized what it was. He was saying goodbye, his partner, friend, lover. An apology plain as day written all over the android's face. 

The man let himself slump back in his chair again, eyes still closed, until the smell of coffee filled his nose. Blinking open his eyes, they immediately landed on the plastic cup of coffee. Eagerly he grabbed for it while Tina sat down beside him again. 

Silence stretched between them, in the end exhaustion won and Gavin leaned his head against Tina's shoulder. 

  
° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

"Detective Reed?" a deep voice jerked him awake and he sat upright in an instant while Tina let out a sleepy sounding snort as her head slid from its resting place on Gavins' shoulder.

The detective's eyes sought out the person who called him...a human. Not an android, an odd thing for an android hospital. On the second glance, his heart dropped heavily inside his chest when he saw the exhaustion on the man's face. 

Gavin sighed, his legs felt shaky and unstable as he pulled himself out of the uncomfortable plastic chair. "Yeah, I'm Detective Gavin Reed. Just... Lay it on me, Doc. Is Nines alive?" a steady mantra of 'please be alive' and 'don't leave me alone' echoed constantly through Gavin's head. 

Tina's presence behind him gave him strength, he just hoped that it would be enough if the worst-case scenario came to pass.

"Well, Detective Reed, my name is Doctor Martens. I'm one of the technicians who worked on your partner. I can reassure you, Nines is alive. It was touch and go for awhile. He lost a lot of thirium, all in all he was very lucky. The damages to the chest area were easy to fix, but we were unable repair his left arm. We tried, we really did. In the end, we were forced to remove his left arm to stop the bleeding and the...pain. RK900 is a prototype, the only one of its kind. There is no available replacement at hand so I'm afraid your partner will have to wait a week for a new arm."

Gavin watched the man in front of him carefully, "So, Nines is alright? I mean, yes, he lost his left arm, but he'll get an replacement in a few days. He isn't in pain or something?" a curse almost left Gavin's mouth when the heavy weight inside his chest lifted ever so slightly. 

"How was that even possible? I always thought androids couldn't feel pain like we did?" asked Gavin.

Dr. Martens nodded, "Yes, he is completely fine now. Pain-free, but one arm missing, at least for a few days. As for the pain that he was able to feel. Well, it was a surprise for all of us here. I wasn't the only one treating Nines, my colleague, who is also an android, couldn't explain it fully either. He thought that since the damage was inflicted on a larger area at the same time, Nines' system couldn't handle it and it kind of short-circuit. Which in turn caused the pain." Gavin let the words sink in and nodded slowly, what he heard sounded plausible. 

  
Nines was damaged before, never seriously. It was always easy to fix.

  
Gavin took a deep breath, "Can I see him?"

He received a nod in return, and was told the room number with the information that Nines was likely to be in a rest mode for another thirty minutes. 

Without waiting he started to walk and Tina stopped him as he was about to enter the room. She told him she would head back to the precinct to report Nines condition, and that Gavin was to call her immediately if he needed any help. She hugged him again and ordered him to greet Nines from her as soon as he woke up.

Gavin watched her leave and entered the room. 

Nines was laying flat on the bed hooked on different cables and devices around him. Gavin's eyes sought out the android's damaged side. 

Where the arm was supposed to be was now only some kind of plastic sealing, which seemed to be wrapped tightly around the shoulder. 

Other than that, there was no visible damage. No thirium either. They must have cleaned Nine's skin. 

Blue eyes were closed. Nines really looked like he was just sleeping peacefully. Gavin stepped over to the bed to let his fingertips glide over the cool synthetic skin of the right arm until he reached Nine's hand and entwined their finger together. 

Slowly, he sat down onto the bed next to Nines hips, squeezing the android's hand gently before raising it to his lips where he could press a kiss against the skin. 

Nines was motionless throughout it all, it hurt to see his android like this .Tears burned at the back of his eyes again. Jesus, he was tired of crying, tired of the all the emotions he went through in just a few hours. 

"Damn, Nines. I love you so much. Please wake up- Look, you are making me cry....asshole." Gavin sniffed, but luckily he managed to blink the tears away before they could fall. 

"Hmm, 'm sorry..." the slurred voice of the android beside him filled the space around them. 

Gavin's heart leaped inside his chest and he leaned forward to cares the android's face. "Nines? C'mon, show me those beautiful blue eyes of yours." 

Blue eyes blinked open in response, "Gavin..." Nine's started to move, but stopped with a startled motion and looked his left with a heavy frown on his face. "Oh..."

The detective couldn't suppress a snort from leaving his lips. "Oh...really, Nines? You scared the shit out of me, and lost an arm...and all you say is 'Oh' ? 

His partner's movements were sluggish, yet he managed to sit himself up by pushing with his remaining arm. 

"Wow, wow. Nines slowly. Fuck, are you okay? They said you will have a new arm by the end of the week. Do you- Do you feel pain?"

Nines shook his head, "No, just a little discomfort." he answered before he raised his to cup Gavin's cheek. "I'm sorry for scaring you, darling. I was- I was afraid too, I thought I was going to die and leave you behind..."

Without hesitation Gavin moved forwards to wrap his arm carefully around his lover. The fright of the day sat deeply inside their minds. The detective pressed his lips against Nines', kissing him deeply. When he pulled away Nines took a hold of his hand. 

  
"Please, I want to go home, Gavin." asked Nines with a small tremor in his voice. 

Jesus, how could he say no to that. No one had told him how long Nines would have to stay, so he nodded and told Nines he would go and ask. 

As it turned out, Nines could leave as soon as he felt able to do so. The only thing Nines should do over the next few hours was to drink thirium and check his system for errors, just in case. 

Nines, now dressed in scrubs, was thrilled to hear that, and it wasn't long before they left the android hospital.

They were on their way to the taxi Gavin had ordered when Nines faltered beside him, stumbled over his own feet and if not for Gavin's fast reflexes the android would lay face first on the ground by now. 

"Hey, hey. Nines what was that? Are you alright?" the detective's voice was high pitched with worry while his fingers held tightly around Nines' remaining arm. 

The android beside him seemed confused for one moment, his eyes blinking a few time before he shook his head, causing the small lock of hair on the side of his head to slip down further, giving him more of a rumpled look then he already wore. "I'm alright Gavin, stop worrying so much. I'm just missing weight in my left side...It feels strange."

Their drive home couldn't go over fast enough and Gavin almost sagged to the ground in relief as he closed the apartment door behind them. 

Finally they were home. 

Gavin dragged Nines to the bedroom where he sat him to the edge of their bed. He carefully helped Nines out of those scrubs and maneuvered him further in the bed, where he followed shortly after. 

Under the covers, they pressed against each other, and Gavin let his fingertips travel over the plastic seal on Nines left shoulder. It almost felt identically to the rest of the android's synthetic skin. 

"I love you Nines, so so much." whispered Gavin against his lover's lips, and he felt Nines press kisses against him in response. 

It was all they needed. Arms wrapped around each other, warm and safe. Gavin closed his eyes and fell asleep a minute later.

  
The heavy sound of something dropping vibrated on the ground. Gavin frowned, still half asleep he reached over to the other side of the bed where his hand wandered over the expanse of a cold bed sheet. 

The other side off the bed was empty. 

Another rather loud sound of something hitting a wall echoed through the room and Gavin instantly woke up completely. He jerked up, his feet barely on the ground while he had already snatched his gun from the top of his dresser. 

His mind raced a mile per second, was someone inside their apartment? Was Nines fighting and maybe hurt? Could he even fight with only one arm?

Again there was a loud thud of something hitting a wall and Gavin, with his heart pounding out of his chest ripped open the bedroom door only to stop short before he even managed to get more than two steps out of the room.

There, in the middle of the hallway, sat his android. Legs stretched out in front of him, while his back rested against the wall. Nines' head dangled forward unnaturally, while his chin almost rested on his chest. 

For a brief moment, Gavin didn't realize what he was seeing, or at least not until he caught sight of the blue color of thirium on the wall behind Nines head, and with that reality crashed down on Gavin. The noises that woke him were sounds his lover made as he repetitively smacked his own head against the wall. 

He sprinted to the androids side to drop on his knees, his hands were shaking as he reached up to cradle Nines' head between them. Gavin nearly recoiled at the feeling of too hot skin that came into contact with the palms of his hands. Slowly, he raised his partner's head to get a better view.

Nines' blue eyes were squeezed shut, his cheeks dusted with a light blue. 

The detective could feel tremors working through Nines' body and he tipped Nines head back a bit. 

"Nines, hey. What's wrong? Oh fuck...Why the fuck did smack your own head against the damn wall?!" He was panicking, he didn't know how to help the android in front of him. 

"Nines, please. What can I do? Please, love, talk to me." pleaded Gavin. 

  
Slowly, ice-blue eyes opened and the android's mouth moved, but there was only a static sound that left those lips.

"What was that? Nines, c'mon snap out of it. Please, tell me what's wrong, please Nines." 

Nines started to weep and it broke Gavin's heart to pieces."Hurts. Gavin...it hurts, please make it stop," a desperate, pain-filled tune layered over Nines normally smooth deep voice, and blue eyes began to roll back into his head. 

The body in Gavin's arm tensed in pain, 

What was going on? The man in front of the quivering android was at a loss. He could only watch as his android battled to stay conscious. Why was he useless? 

"Nines, fuck..." 

Gavin couldn't let go of his lover's head as it would just dangle forwards lifelessly as soon as his hands ceased their hold. So he slowly lowered the android to lay flat on the ground to race to his phone.

There was one person who could help and he prayed to every existing deity that his brother was at home. He dialed his brother's number while running back to the android on the ground. 

The dial tone sounded through his phone while Gavin waited. He looked down to the android who shook and whimpered on the ground, and Gavin's world started to fall apart for the second time in just one day.


End file.
